So what are we? I am not sure why I ask. The turn of events
just leave you asking questions; some rhetoric, others genuinely deserving
answers.
I am in a conundrum. Seeking some sort of assurance, whether
it’s about the future or the present I am yet to establish. Fear as we all know
holds us back from being the best we could ever be. As I rushed through the
streets this morning, a knot of uneasiness tucked in my stomach. I am not sure
whether the rumbling noise was from my stomach. I have been queasy uneasy since
last weekend. The circumstances leading
to these moments remain a mystery.
With a hood over my head I convinced myself that I was out
of sight to the curious eyes of the thousands of outsiders who shamelessly tend
to look in. Now I stand at the door ready to knock. I hear a voice over my
shoulder and wonder just who it might be.
I have missed my targets over the last one month. Maybe this
is the reason why I am hiding away from the real world. I just can’t accept the
fact that I failed on this one. But I did try. I keep convincing myself. I want
to break away, yet the next step is not known. I walk each moment my held bowed
low in shame.
Sometimes it is all about luck. I know lady luck has kept a
distance from me. I want her to come back. Even if not in a great way; just in
a small sneaky way that says I am around not this time but some other day I
will look your way.
The boss has been on my case for far too long. I want to burst
into tears. I want to talk back but then this thing called fear holds me back. So
when will the sun shine?
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