Sunday, 18 August 2013

Outsiders Looking in!

So what are we? I am not sure why I ask. The turn of events just leave you asking questions; some rhetoric, others genuinely deserving answers.

I am in a conundrum. Seeking some sort of assurance, whether it’s about the future or the present I am yet to establish. Fear as we all know holds us back from being the best we could ever be. As I rushed through the streets this morning, a knot of uneasiness tucked in my stomach. I am not sure whether the rumbling noise was from my stomach. I have been queasy uneasy since last weekend.  The circumstances leading to these moments remain a mystery.

With a hood over my head I convinced myself that I was out of sight to the curious eyes of the thousands of outsiders who shamelessly tend to look in. Now I stand at the door ready to knock. I hear a voice over my shoulder and wonder just who it might be.

I have missed my targets over the last one month. Maybe this is the reason why I am hiding away from the real world. I just can’t accept the fact that I failed on this one. But I did try. I keep convincing myself. I want to break away, yet the next step is not known. I walk each moment my held bowed low in shame.

Sometimes it is all about luck. I know lady luck has kept a distance from me. I want her to come back. Even if not in a great way; just in a small sneaky way that says I am around not this time but some other day I will look your way.

The boss has been on my case for far too long. I want to burst into tears. I want to talk back but then this thing called fear holds me back. So when will the sun shine?

No comments:

Post a Comment